If you remarried and are now struggling with how to love your step-kids, you may feel overwhelmed. Sometimes it is hard to welcome children from a previous marriage in with open arms. They can be a reminder that your husband has been with another woman and had another life before you. Also, the children may be resistant to change and may not welcome you into their family. When these sorts of difficulties arise, it is important that you take action. While it is important to work towards a good relationship with your step-kids, you have no obligation to love them like your own children. That is up to you and the children to determine whether or not you will fuse a bond like this.
If you do need to work on your relationship with your step-kids, then you should establish household rules. Remind your children what statutes they will need to follow as long as they remain under your roof. Also, talk to your husband about how you can best get to know your step-children and actively care for them. Tell him your concerns and frustrations. Explain to him that you are working hard to enjoy your step-children, and ask for his advice. If it isn’t awkward for you, it may be smart to ask the children’s mother for advice as well. She probably knows plenty of ways to love her kids, and you could use some of her tactics to motivate them to love you.
Remember that it may take time for you to grow accustomed to the new children in your life. There is no need to rush this relationship in any way. If you are responsible and consistent, your children will eventually pick up on your desire to please them and may even start to incline themselves toward you. You can even admit to your children that it is hard for you to accept them as your own. Sometimes honesty goes a long way in a parent-child relationship. Whatever you do, try hard to be a good step-mother to your children and work towards a satisfactory relationship with them to eliminate conflict in the future.