Ways to Reduce Conflict During a Divorce
Posted on Jan 12, 2010 9:00am PST
If you and your spouse have decided to file for
divorce, it's in everyone's best interest to try and avoid conflict as
much as possible, especially when children are involved. Not only are
divorce cases ridden with conflict emotionally draining and difficult
on the entire family, but they can ultimately cost you more money, as
the longer a divorce case goes unresolved the more expensive it will be.
Even if you and your spouse no longer get along and seem to fight about
everything, you should try to settle your divorce with as little conflict
as possible. The following is a list of tips that have proven to be effective
in reducing conflict during a divorce.
- Don't participate in arguments. It takes two people to argue, and if
your spouse tries to pick a fight, be the bigger person and walk away.
- Expect tension and know how to deal with it. You will have many difficult
discussions, but have these discussions when your children are not around
and when you and your spouse are not tired, hungry, or cranky.
- Identify and make a list of what you hope to achieve during the divorce
process. Stick to this list to make sure your wants, needs, and concerns
are addressed, acknowledged, and understood. At the same time, it is important
to remain open-minded. Perhaps you thought you wanted one thing, but as
it turns out another solution would work just fine.
- Keep an open mind to your spouse's point of view, even if you don't
agree with it. Your spouse is likely to be more responsive if he or she
feels like you're actually listening to what they have to say.
- Don't place blame or make accusatory statements. Although you may want
to point fingers, your spouse is likely to become defensive and argumentative.
- Be a big enough person to say "I'm sorry" or "I was
wrong." These types of statements can really go a long way.
- Pick your battles wisely and avoid making petty jabs. Even if you do not
agree with what your spouse is saying, take the high road and save your
energy for those issues that are most important to you.
Remained focused on your children. Often times, parents in a
contested divorce forget about the children because they are so wrapped up in the fighting,
arguing, and name-calling. Remember that you are their parent, and that
you should be fighting for what is best for them, not what would anger
your spouse the most.
For more tips on how to deal with divorce, please feel free to contact Jacksonville divorce attorney Jason Hutchinson today for experienced representation!