Asking Your Divorced Friends for Advice on Marriage
Posted on Aug 2, 2012 4:10pm PDT
At first glance, the thought of asking a friend who has gone through a
divorce may sound quite crazy, after studies however there is a chance that they
may be some of the best people to talk to. According to
The Wall Street Journal, divorced people tend to spend more time on the lost relationship deciding
what went wrong. Through different studies, they have concluded that the
average divorcee shares five regrets that they have from their marriage,
with the resolve of being different when they hopefully get their second,
or third, chance at marriage.
One of the first tips would be do what it takes to make your spouse happy,
or boost their spirits. This can be done by showing affection of some
sort, whether it is compliments or cuddling or the simple yet powerful
“I love you”, showing your support for them is extremely important
in your marriage. This can’t be sporadic; it should be a normal
part of your everyday routine, to be each other’s greatest cheerleaders.
Second, discussing money matters is important, don’t shove them
under the rug and act as if they are nonexistent, the dust bunny will
just continue to grow. Discuss how to spend and save, and work as a team
because studies show that money problems and disagreements is the leading
cause for divorce. Third, figure out a good way to move on from the past.
Whether this includes past relationships or arguments from last week,
work things out and then promise to move on.
Communication and forgiveness are significant characteristics of a healthy
marriage. Fourth, don’t blame each other for every problem, if it
is a difficult day figure out ways to cope together; don’t shove
the issue on your spouse as if your being tired is their fault. Lastly,
and most importantly, communication is essential! Chose to talk things
through, promise each other that both will have a chance to share an opinion
before making a decision. In that communication do so in a loving and
understanding manner, not judgmental or annoyed. Working through these
few things may just help your marriage in the long run.