Family Matters: Telling Your Parents and In-Laws About the Divorce
Posted on Oct 11, 2012 9:45am PDT
Getting married is an exciting time of life, not only for you and your
soon to be spouse, but also for your family. For woman, many moms have
been dreaming of the day they get to help their daughter shop for “the”
dress, and fathers look forward to (and dread) the day they get to walk
their baby girl down the aisle. For men, their mothers are so excited
to see them caring for another woman and committing to her and the father
is proud to know his son has grown up and taken the next big step in life.
Marriage is a happy time, especially those first few months or years that
everyone knows to be called the “honeymoon” phase. Where you
and your spouse are just getting to know each other and exploring what
life is like together day by day. For years you and your spouse have been
blissfully happy, and maybe you even had a few kids too. Life is good
and then says you hit your 10th or 20th anniversary and you realize that the spark is no longer there. Perhaps
your children have moved out and gone to college and you come to notice
that the only thing that was holding you two together was the kids being at home.
With a lot of thinking and discussion, you decide to
divorce feeling that is what will be best for the two of you and your family.
Perhaps you two are so released with this decision, you become good friends
through the process, and rather than worrying about how to divide your
assets the only thing you fear is how to tell your parents. Both your
families have been so happy with you and your spouse’s perfect little
family, and the idea of telling them feels like it will be the hardest part.
When addressing this big life change to your parents, you want to do so
in person primarily. Being able to sit down with them and explain the
situation is going to be the best way to help them see your reasons behind
the decisions. While over the phone way be the only way for some, if you
have the option to be in person than choose that. Next, depending on where
you and your spouse are at, it may be helpful, for the two of you, to
approach the families together as a team front. That way you will know
there is someone on your side who agrees with the divorce.
Make sure your family knows that what you have to say is a serious matter,
don’t try to beat around the bush but just be open and honest right
off the bat. The sooner your break it to them, the sooner they can wrap
their mind around the situation. Discuss with your spouse the plan of
action, and decided how much you want to share with each side of the family.
Some parents want the full details because that is their personality,
other families may be more the type to want to know no details and act
like everything is still hunky-dory.
If you and your spouse are sure that you are making the right decision,
make sure you stay strong when sharing these details with your loved ones.
Families initially want what is best for their kids, and they may feel
like you should keep trying to fix your marriage. If you are convinced
it is past that point, make sure they are aware that your decision can’t
be changed. Communication is essential, be honest with the family and
in time they will hopefully understand and even be able to help you through
the situation. For a trusted divorce attorney,
call Hutchinson Law today.